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Goldwatch Blues

Music and lyrics by Mick Softley


I went up for my interview on the 4th day of July
The personnel man he questioned me, until I nearly cried
Made me fill in forms, until I shook with fear
About the colour of my toilet roll and if my cousin's queer

"Here's your gold watch and the shackles for your chains
And your piece of paper, to say you left here sane
And if you've a son who wants a good career
Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for 50 years"

He asked me how many jobs I'd had before
He nearly had a heart attack when I answered four
"Four jobs in 20 years, oh, this can never be!
We only take on men who work until they die"

"Here's your gold watch and the shackles for your chains
And your piece of paper, to say you left here sane
And if you've a son who wants a good career
Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for 50 years"

He took me outside to where the gravestones stand in line
"This is where we bury them, in quickstone and in lime
And if you're going to work for us, this you must agree
That if you're going to die, please do it during tea break"

"Here's your gold watch and the shackles for your chains
And your piece of paper, to say you left here sane
And if you've a son who wants a good career
Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for 50 years"

This story that you've heard, you may think rather queer
But it is the truth, you'll be surprised to hear
I did not want no job up on the board
I just wanted to take a broom and sweep the bloody floor

"Here's your gold watch and the shackles for your chains
And your piece of paper, to say you left here sane
And if you've a son who wants a good career
Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for 50 years"

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